I just wondered how long you've been living in my head. Yes, you nailed it. I'm sending this to my husband, children and friends to give them an idea what it's like. Thank you for this.
The catalyst for me has been a recent burnout which left me pretty much bed-bound on some days. I heard it described as the ADHD 'boom and bust' burnout cycle. Then I looked back through my diary and sick leave. The cycle was clear as day. The euphoric highs of energy and 'productivity' and the crashes afterwards. Getting a new lens on this feels really important and I'm learning to be more accepting and mindful of how I naturally am.
Boom and bust is an apt description, isn't it? There's another phrase for that euphoric high which is interesting – God mode – when we feel like we can do it ALL! Until we can't…
I read something fascinating about ADHD and menopause the other day - basically oestrogen helps us with our multitasking and focus. And as that declines we can find it harder and harder to cope.
Our previous coping strategies don't work as well and it can all add to the feeling of overwhelm. I'll try to find the link.
Yep, that's one of the reasons why it's women in their midlife that are discovering their ADHD – because the hormonal changes of perimenopause make ADHD traits more prominent and the coping mechanisms just don't cut it any more.
It's a revelation. Thank you so much for writing about it. I don't think I would have put the jigsaw pieces together in quite the same way without your words.
Far out. I’m usually feeling too overwhelmed and exhausted to even comment on SS these days. But I have to say that your list perfectly encapsulates my experience of living with ADHD. Thank you. The “all or nothing” nature of my life has always been exhausting. I’m currently in a funk. But know I’ll rev my way out of it again at some point 🤞🫠 x
Yeah it’s kinda sad we’re all so accustomed to the “funk” eh? It seems our western society has ‘evolved’ in ways that are unsustainable in every sense.
I appreciate your question re: how to gently move through the transition from funk to functioning again (as opposed to forcing it). 🙏 So much of the answer seems to come down to the way we’ve structured our lives? - and this is what I’d like to ultimately change. I don’t want to work full-time anymore. I don’t want to be a Teacher anymore. I’d love to be able to just move more slowly in the world (seems to be my natural pace despite my fast mind). I just need to work out what my next move should be. Because we all need to pay the bills somehow right? But how to find something that is meaningful and fulfilling (which usually involves helping other people), but isn’t too emotionally draining? Sometimes I feel I’d rather not work with people anymore as trying to ‘hold’ so much for everyone else is exhausting. I’d secretly like to just potter in the garden and talk to birds and never have to be ‘responsible’ for anyone else ever again! (Completely unrealistic given my parent status!!). Anyway - I know I just need to take a ‘risk’. Currently contemplating resigning from my job and just trusting the next right thing will unfold 🤞…
So many of us go through decades of our life without a clue because there's been quite a narrow portrayal of what ADHD looks like – small white boy who can't sit still in class. But, as we now know there is so much more to it, and how it presents in girls is very different, there's a lot going on internally.
I'm thrilled you've ordered my book, thank you so much, I hope you enjoy it and find I useful.
I will be sharing lots more to come, and have resources/offerings in the pipeline. You might find my podcast, Pressing Pause, helpful to check out (it's in the usual places like Apple and Spotify). I recorded all available episodes before I discovered my ADHD but, as I now realise, I was speaking to the traits and challenges of ADHD, I just didn't know that was at the heart of it x
I was seriously hoping it was just my HD. Now I’m not so certain. In fact, I believe you just explained every WHY in the history of my life. Can I just go back and have a redo with this new information? My life would have gone a completely different direction. Wait, do I want to do that? Great…now you have me questioning everything. AND you may have just altered the direction of the rest of my life. 🤔😆😘
It's a lot, Grace, I know. It can bring up a lot of questions and what ifs and if onlys and more so go gently. Remember, you're still you, this new information can explain but it doesn't change the real, beautiful, wholehearted you who you've always been x
That's 24 little ✔️ you've given me this morning! Thanks for the dopamine boost 😆
This is an excellent and very relatable list - thank you very much. May I suggest 'doom piles' as No.25? All the little piles of 'intentions' that you can't seem to make yourself do but attract more things for piling on top of them. 🤔
Or perhaps, forgetting what you were saying mid-sentence. Or not being able to think of the word for what you're trying to say and so talking endlessly around it and confusing yourself and everyone else. 😅
When I learned about doom piles I felt a smidge put out that what I thought was me being neat and organised had such a name! ;) Oh and the frustration of not being able to find the word you want to say, I’ve been putting that down to perimenopause for years.
Every single point in this is me. Looking forward to our chat, my favourite thing I heard once was when you wake up there are minions running all around your head and all you want them to do is f***ing line up, that is exactly how it feels to me, most mornings xx
All of this is me. It’s is both painful and therapeutic to read. It’s amazing how you can go through life, feeling alone and different and not good enough. And then you realise you have ADHD and suddenly you discover there’s all these people that feel and experience the world in almost the exact same way. That they get it!
EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. This list is my life.
Ditto Claire 💛
You’re not alone, Claire x
Thank you Gabrielle - I feel seen!!! 💛
Pull up a chair, Helen, I see you x
Thank you love. A glossary of terms would be super useful I feel xx
I just wondered how long you've been living in my head. Yes, you nailed it. I'm sending this to my husband, children and friends to give them an idea what it's like. Thank you for this.
It takes one to know one, Amy ;) Knowledge is power, the more we can help our loved ones to understand the more they can be there for us x
Thanks for this list, Gabrielle. Resonates!
The catalyst for me has been a recent burnout which left me pretty much bed-bound on some days. I heard it described as the ADHD 'boom and bust' burnout cycle. Then I looked back through my diary and sick leave. The cycle was clear as day. The euphoric highs of energy and 'productivity' and the crashes afterwards. Getting a new lens on this feels really important and I'm learning to be more accepting and mindful of how I naturally am.
Boom and bust is an apt description, isn't it? There's another phrase for that euphoric high which is interesting – God mode – when we feel like we can do it ALL! Until we can't…
It's intoxicating!
Thanks for this. Probably the most validating thing I’ve read on the subject.
That means a lot, Nat, thank you x
Perfectly said. All of this
This is such a fascinating read - and my ever busy brain was ticking off each item as I read it.
Thank you for perfectly encapsulating what it is to feel like we do. The more we know, the more we know 🧡
Knowledge is power, right? As is knowing there are more of us ticking off the list x
I read something fascinating about ADHD and menopause the other day - basically oestrogen helps us with our multitasking and focus. And as that declines we can find it harder and harder to cope.
Our previous coping strategies don't work as well and it can all add to the feeling of overwhelm. I'll try to find the link.
Yep, that's one of the reasons why it's women in their midlife that are discovering their ADHD – because the hormonal changes of perimenopause make ADHD traits more prominent and the coping mechanisms just don't cut it any more.
It's a revelation. Thank you so much for writing about it. I don't think I would have put the jigsaw pieces together in quite the same way without your words.
That means so much, Louise x
Far out. I’m usually feeling too overwhelmed and exhausted to even comment on SS these days. But I have to say that your list perfectly encapsulates my experience of living with ADHD. Thank you. The “all or nothing” nature of my life has always been exhausting. I’m currently in a funk. But know I’ll rev my way out of it again at some point 🤞🫠 x
I think that funk feeling will be familiar to plenty. Rather than rev your way out of it, is there a calmer, more sustainable path through it? x
Yeah it’s kinda sad we’re all so accustomed to the “funk” eh? It seems our western society has ‘evolved’ in ways that are unsustainable in every sense.
I appreciate your question re: how to gently move through the transition from funk to functioning again (as opposed to forcing it). 🙏 So much of the answer seems to come down to the way we’ve structured our lives? - and this is what I’d like to ultimately change. I don’t want to work full-time anymore. I don’t want to be a Teacher anymore. I’d love to be able to just move more slowly in the world (seems to be my natural pace despite my fast mind). I just need to work out what my next move should be. Because we all need to pay the bills somehow right? But how to find something that is meaningful and fulfilling (which usually involves helping other people), but isn’t too emotionally draining? Sometimes I feel I’d rather not work with people anymore as trying to ‘hold’ so much for everyone else is exhausting. I’d secretly like to just potter in the garden and talk to birds and never have to be ‘responsible’ for anyone else ever again! (Completely unrealistic given my parent status!!). Anyway - I know I just need to take a ‘risk’. Currently contemplating resigning from my job and just trusting the next right thing will unfold 🤞…
Having a clear sense of what you want, even while knowing bills need paying, is invaluable. Everything if figureoutable from there.
Light bulb moment here...This really helps, thankyou
I really hadn't twigged throughout my life that I probably have adhd, well, not as I understood it.
This makes so much sense and I'm very glad to have subscribed to you.
I've just bought your book.
Suggestions to soften the constant overthinking, brain juke box and anxiety (that I didn't twig either) would really help if anyone has suggestions.
I'm thinking of trying Mucuna Pruriens.....
So many of us go through decades of our life without a clue because there's been quite a narrow portrayal of what ADHD looks like – small white boy who can't sit still in class. But, as we now know there is so much more to it, and how it presents in girls is very different, there's a lot going on internally.
I'm thrilled you've ordered my book, thank you so much, I hope you enjoy it and find I useful.
I will be sharing lots more to come, and have resources/offerings in the pipeline. You might find my podcast, Pressing Pause, helpful to check out (it's in the usual places like Apple and Spotify). I recorded all available episodes before I discovered my ADHD but, as I now realise, I was speaking to the traits and challenges of ADHD, I just didn't know that was at the heart of it x
23 out of 24! Do I win a prize or something?
I was seriously hoping it was just my HD. Now I’m not so certain. In fact, I believe you just explained every WHY in the history of my life. Can I just go back and have a redo with this new information? My life would have gone a completely different direction. Wait, do I want to do that? Great…now you have me questioning everything. AND you may have just altered the direction of the rest of my life. 🤔😆😘
It's a lot, Grace, I know. It can bring up a lot of questions and what ifs and if onlys and more so go gently. Remember, you're still you, this new information can explain but it doesn't change the real, beautiful, wholehearted you who you've always been x
Oh my heart!
You’re my girl-crush for the day.
🤍🤍🤍🤍
That's 24 little ✔️ you've given me this morning! Thanks for the dopamine boost 😆
This is an excellent and very relatable list - thank you very much. May I suggest 'doom piles' as No.25? All the little piles of 'intentions' that you can't seem to make yourself do but attract more things for piling on top of them. 🤔
Or perhaps, forgetting what you were saying mid-sentence. Or not being able to think of the word for what you're trying to say and so talking endlessly around it and confusing yourself and everyone else. 😅
When I learned about doom piles I felt a smidge put out that what I thought was me being neat and organised had such a name! ;) Oh and the frustration of not being able to find the word you want to say, I’ve been putting that down to perimenopause for years.
I also have doom carrier bags 🤣
Oh, and I love the Happy News!
And I think a glossary of terms would be really helpful for many folks. X
That's just summed me up!
Pull up a chair and make yourself a brew, Verity :)
Every single point in this is me. Looking forward to our chat, my favourite thing I heard once was when you wake up there are minions running all around your head and all you want them to do is f***ing line up, that is exactly how it feels to me, most mornings xx
That made me smile, Juliet, what a description! x
All of this is me. It’s is both painful and therapeutic to read. It’s amazing how you can go through life, feeling alone and different and not good enough. And then you realise you have ADHD and suddenly you discover there’s all these people that feel and experience the world in almost the exact same way. That they get it!
Think you’ve described the experience of so many very well there, Sally-Ann!