Summer of…?

My book, The 1% Wellness Experiment, is available to pre-order now.

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Welcome to The Haven…

…a place where you can take a breath, find comfort and understanding, inspiration and ideas to overcome your overwhelm and move forward with more calm and joy.

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As I packed our things to come back from holiday I started to think about everything that was waiting for me at home. I began to write a mental to do list, with deadline dates, and felt a heaviness creep into my body.

I’ve seen social and Substack posts, along with newsletter emails, from a variety of people talking about how they’re slowing down for the summer, how they’re shifting gears for the season and doing things differently for a couple of months. Reading this kind of intention provoked a grumpiness within me, an it’s-alright-for-some-people reaction, a feeling of pressure and restriction from all the things on my list for this summer and the rest of the year.

When I react in that way, when I start thinking in them-and-me terms I know something’s up. We know comparing ourselves to others isn’t helpful but there’s also a message in there. What was I telling myself was alright for other people but not for me? What stories was I telling myself about what I can and can't do with my time?

Yes, I do have plenty going on during the summer months – I’m working with my local branch of Mind, I’m running my business and I need to research and decide on a dissertation topic for my MSc before the second year begins at the end of September (I say need because the importance of making this decision before term starts has been heavily emphasised).

Yes, I have responsibilities, there are deadlines, challenges and a to do list AND I chose to do all of these things because they’re fulfilling and rewarding and fascinating. Plus, they’re not exclusive to the lightness, the fun and the joy that I also want to experience not only during the summer but all the time.

That all or nothing way of thinking can be a sneaky so-and-so, creeping in when you’re not looking. It’s the thinking that you can either have a fun, carefree summer or you’re seriously beavering away. It’s all work and no play or all play and no work. Says who?!

Summer of Fun

And so I declared to my husband that this will be a Summer of Fun! Not because we can spend the next couple of months on holiday but because we can choose to infuse this season, these weeks, each day with fun. We can take action to inject joy in amongst the serious stuff.

There’s something about naming an intention, making it into a project of sorts that makes it more of a ‘thing’ and by doing so makes it more real, more actionable, more front of mind. It’s like choosing a word for the year – yes you could just think of how you’d like to feel, be or do but by declaring, even just to yourself, your Word for the Year it makes more of it. And for me giving something a title adds a playfulness that elevates whatever it is in my mind.

It also helps to keep your focus in the present time, instead of leaping ahead to what’s to come. Looking at what’s next, at future goals, the next thing on the to do list has a purpose but if we focus too much on what lies ahead we miss what’s happening in the present, we miss celebrating our current achievements because we’re too busy thinking about what there’s still to do. Giving so much attention to the future can make you feel like you’re behind as you miss being in the present.

If I keep thinking about the autumn and winter when I’ll be in the thick of my MSc and talking much more about my book before the big publication day, I’ll miss the summer I’m in right now.

Fun is nourishing

Declaring this a Summer of Fun also ties into my word for 2023, Nourish, as I know that making space for fun, play and joy nourishes me to my core. Figuring out the serious matter of what I’m going to devote my MSc dissertation to will feel a lot more doable if I’m nourishing myself with moments of silliness too.

So what does my Summer of Fun look like? As well as making plans to host and visit family, we’ve made a list of places we want to go for day trips so when the weather forecast looks good and our schedules allow we can up and go. We’ve already established Friday nights as Movie Night and I’m mulling over a theme we could have for the summer – movies starring a particular actor, from a genre or by a director? I might visit a different independent local eatery each week and try baking some new recipes.

There are some other ideas I have brewing but it’s not just about the big things that take advance planning. It’s about remembering how you want to feel and being intentional in what you do to help yourself to feel that way at any given moment.

So if you want to feel lighter you might stand up and shake out your arms and legs, jump up and down to dispel the heaviness you’re feeling.

If you want to feel calm you might place one hand on your stomach and the other on your heart, close your eyes and take three slow, deep breaths in and out.

If you want to feel playful you might put on your favourite cheesy pop tune and dance around the kitchen.

If you want to feel relaxed you might lie on the couch and close your eyes for five minutes.

If you want to feel energised you might run up and down the stairs a few times.

If you want to feel cared for you might wrap your arms around your body and give yourself a hug.

If you want to feel free you might breathe in deeply and yell as loudly as you can!

Because of being away I almost forgot that this week (that we’re getting towards the end of) is our Week of Celebration! I named it that (told you I like giving things titles) a few years ago because in the space of one week we have the anniversary of moving to Wales, my birthday and our wedding anniversary. Plus, now we have a fourth reason to celebrate as it’s our pup Bailey’s first birthday too! Definitely calls for fizz and cake.

Word for the Year, Summer of Fun, Week of Celebration – do you like giving titles to seasons, projects or times in your life? What do you want this summer (or winter if you’re on t’other side of the globe) to be for you? Perhaps a Summer of Calm or Adventure or Food?! I’d love to hear what you think in the comments below. (If you’re reading this on email, clicking on the Comment button will take you to Substack online or you can use the app which is sooo easy to navigate.)

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Support from me

If you’re thinking about how you want to feel not just for the summer but going forward into the rest of this year and beyond, and you’re not sure how to get there, we can talk about it.

Whether you know that you’re a people-pleaser or have wishy-washy boundaries, or that you want to feel more confident in standing up for yourself or to feel more in control of everything you’re juggling, or whether you just know that you don’t feel how you want to and something has to change – you’re not alone.

I have worked with women feeling all the feelings you are (as well as experiencing them myself) for several years to support them in finding the calm, the joy, the strength, the peace that they want.

I have space for two new coaching clients starting in the summer so check out the info by clicking here, and book a complementary call to talk it over. Just to be clear there’s no hard sell – that’s absolutely not what I’m about – it’s simply a chat to talk over where you’re at and see if we’re a good fit.

“When I first connected with Gabrielle I was stressed, burnt out and I longed to enjoy life and just be myself. My coaching experience was amazing, it went far beyond my expectations. My sense of humour has returned, I've set boundaries and I have moments of sheer joy and excitement. My husband has noticed I'm no longer so agitated or frustrated and my friends have noticed I'm more confident. Now I'm more relaxed, I look after myself properly, I have energy for my life – I'm just happier!” – Diana

More for you:

• Get your free guides for more calm and joy

• Listen to the Pressing Pause podcast

• Subscribe to my Substack

How you can work with me:

• One-to-one coaching on Zoom

• Coach in Your Pocket by messaging app

• Take an online course

And you can pre-order my book, The 1% Wellness Experiment, from a range of online stores here.