I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that we attempt to fend off future embarrassment by meekly asking if we are wrong before anyone else criticizes..
Could it be that we simply need to reword our ask? Might we confidently ask a respected friend to look something over before we present it, or proof read it ? Or read and ask us questions about it so that we ensure we have given all the answers we hoped to in our writing?
Maybe we simply need to drop the silent fear that we are wrong, then call on the boost by someone we love to do the final editorial edit.
I have a dear dear friend edit my book chapters before I publish them on my stack. Not out of fear that I’m wrong, but because I want to ensure I didn’t forget something.
Plus, I am always open to have a respectful conversation with someone who has a different viewpoint.
And? As far as checking or double checking my actions, or as you did with being curious if you left out some paperwork, I view it as being the MoSt SECURE among us who is willing to say, hang on, let me double check myself 🤗. It is only the most insecure and fearful people who refuse to be curious about being imperfect.
Many hugs to you for being willing to double check yourself.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Teyani. I agree that it takes strength to say I may have got this wrong and refusing to entertain the possibility is defensiveness coming from insecurity. I think it's important to know what's underneath the asking someone to double check – welcoming someone else's opinion or eyes on an edit is quite different to having no faith in your ability and assuming anyone else will do a better job that you.
Yes! I so agree! When people have zero faith in my ability I walk away from them. I long ago gave up the need to be good at everything, so I slowly overcame my concerns about being incompetent.
I will truthfully accept things I don’t know how to do. If someone asks me to do my best anyway, I say sure. If I am met with disdain from them, I walk away.
I know myself well enough at the ripe old age of 71 to know my limits and I’m no longer embarrassed by any of them (it might well be the being old part that has given me this grace🤪🤭)
I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that we attempt to fend off future embarrassment by meekly asking if we are wrong before anyone else criticizes..
Could it be that we simply need to reword our ask? Might we confidently ask a respected friend to look something over before we present it, or proof read it ? Or read and ask us questions about it so that we ensure we have given all the answers we hoped to in our writing?
Maybe we simply need to drop the silent fear that we are wrong, then call on the boost by someone we love to do the final editorial edit.
I have a dear dear friend edit my book chapters before I publish them on my stack. Not out of fear that I’m wrong, but because I want to ensure I didn’t forget something.
Plus, I am always open to have a respectful conversation with someone who has a different viewpoint.
And? As far as checking or double checking my actions, or as you did with being curious if you left out some paperwork, I view it as being the MoSt SECURE among us who is willing to say, hang on, let me double check myself 🤗. It is only the most insecure and fearful people who refuse to be curious about being imperfect.
Many hugs to you for being willing to double check yourself.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Teyani. I agree that it takes strength to say I may have got this wrong and refusing to entertain the possibility is defensiveness coming from insecurity. I think it's important to know what's underneath the asking someone to double check – welcoming someone else's opinion or eyes on an edit is quite different to having no faith in your ability and assuming anyone else will do a better job that you.
Yes! I so agree! When people have zero faith in my ability I walk away from them. I long ago gave up the need to be good at everything, so I slowly overcame my concerns about being incompetent.
I will truthfully accept things I don’t know how to do. If someone asks me to do my best anyway, I say sure. If I am met with disdain from them, I walk away.
I know myself well enough at the ripe old age of 71 to know my limits and I’m no longer embarrassed by any of them (it might well be the being old part that has given me this grace🤪🤭)
Bring on the 70s, Teyani! 💪
Yep
All of this - but this really struck a chord: "...wasn’t anything enough while also being too much". <3
The push pull of not being enough and also being too much is a confusing message to be given!