Welcome to The Haven…
…a place where you can take a breath, find comfort and understanding, inspiration and ideas to overcome your overwhelm and move forward with more calm and joy.
I was recently reminded of Dame Deborah James' book, How To Live When You Could Be Dead, which I read as soon as it was published, two months after her death (she designed the T-shirt above in aid of the BowelBabe Fund). It's an incredibly poignant book as she wrote it while undergoing and then stopping treatment for her incurable bowel cancer.
In it she quotes another book, If Only It Were True, by Mark Levy. He asks you to imagine you have a bank account which is credited with $86,400 at the start of every day.
Every night that money is wiped out and then you start again with another $86,400 the next day. If you had all that money you'd want to spend it before it gets wiped away, right?
He explains that our life is such a bank account and we get 86,400 seconds every day – the time we don't 'spend' is lost. Once that time is gone we won't get it back.
Obviously this was particularly powerful to Deborah but the lesson is there for all of us.
(FYI, the 1% or ten minutes of your waking day which my book The 1% Wellness Experiment is focused on equates to 600 seconds.)
I've never been one for 'live each day as if it's your last' because that can feel quite pressured plus there's boring and necessary stuff that still needs doing like the grocery shop and laundry.
But Mark Levy's suggestion does make you stop and think:
How are we spending our valuable time?
Where and to whom are we giving our energy and attention?
How are we intentionally taking action to feel the calm, the love, the fulfilment, the joy that we want to feel?
I'm not suggesting that we try to spend every one of our 86,400 seconds in hedonistic bliss – there’s the dog to feed and accounts to do, plus I spend around 28,800 of those seconds asleep.
But I also don't want you to be spending all of your seconds trying to be the perfect friend/mum/partner/daughter/neighbour/employee, putting everyone else’s needs above your own, holding back in case you mess up or get it wrong, ignoring your own needs and wants because of the mistaken belief (which we're taught) to do otherwise makes you selfish.
What I do want is for you to truly understand, to take on board fully, that right now as you are in this moment without doing a thing, you are allowed, you are deserving, you are absolutely worthy of joy, of fulfilment, of love, of calm.
So instead, how about noticing how you feel, intentionally spending even just a little bit more time (600 seconds perhaps) each day on what makes you smile, lifts your heart and drops your shoulders?
What about experimenting with what brings you calm, peace and ease, with what gives you joy, energy and optimism, and noticing how that ripple effect extends into your work, your day, your relationships?
In my opinion, infusing your day with more calm and joy is an invaluable, downright essential way to spend a few of the 86,400 seconds you're given in a day.
What that looks like, how you go about it is up to you, there's no 'right' way, it's what feels good for you that matters.
How might you spend a few of today's seconds to create a little calm and joy for yourself?
What can you talk about?
There’s been a meme doing the rounds on Substack Notes (the sort of social media, chatty part of Substack) where people have listed five things they could talk about without any prep.
I’ve been mulling this over for a while, partly because the idea of talking about anything without any prep gives me the shivers (see no. 5) but here’s my five in no particular order:
Anne of Green Gables
Calm
Pop music of the early 2000s
Meg Ryan rom-coms
Perfectionism
I’m curious, what are five things you could talk about without any prep?
10 days to go
A reminder that The 1% Wellness Experiment will be available in the United States and Canada in just over a week’s time, from Tuesday 27 February.
You can pre-order it now from Amazon or Barnes & Noble (and your local bookshop) and as a thank you for such a brilliant show of support I’m giving you the chance to win a one-to-one coaching session with me.
Just add your pre-order receipt here to enter the giveaway.
Pre-orders are incredibly important to authors because it helps the book to be stocked and so more easily found after publication. So if you’re planning to get it, pre-ordering would be brilliant of you!
I’d love to spread the word over the pond about The 1% Wellness Experiment so if you’d like me to chat with you for your podcast, Facebook group or membership, or help out with features reply to this email and let me know.
Until next time,
PS Some book links go to my store on bookshop.org where I may receive a small fee if you go on to purchase.
More for you:
Get your free guides for more calm and joy
Listen to the Pressing Pause podcast
Subscribe to my Substack
Buy my book The 1% Wellness Experiment
How you can work with me:
One-to-one coaching on Zoom
Coach in Your Pocket by messaging app
Take an online course
Thank you for the reminder. A reframing thought to consider as a I wake up this morning and think about how I'll spend my bank balance today. I'm excited about how I'll spend some of those minutes today.
Also, did not see Meg Ryan rpm com's on your top five, but I'm here for it! I'm not sure I have five, but I could obviously talk about baked potato fillings or my general love for potatoes until the end of time 😂
Thank you, I needed to be reminded to be mindful and present, as much as possible. And to try and remember my own needs, as someone who’s working on not putting everyone’s needs first all the time.
Meg Ryan romcoms: which is your favourite, and why? ☺️