This is such a great post to share with friends. Such an excellent description of my brain. When i think if the years i tried to explain to doctors and therapists my drunken monkey mind. Of so you are anxious. Oh you are stressed. No one seemed to be able to comprehend a mind like you have perfectly described here.
It can be tricky to articulate the experience and the feeling of it, can't it? Even then I think it's pretty hard for someone to be able to really know what it's like if their brain isn't wired in this way.
This is such an excellent description. I love your conga line analogy. To myself I describe it as brain freeze, when I can sit, often immobile for quite long periods of time. Paralysed by indecision. There are so many thoughts, so many options dancing around in my head that my brain just kind of tunes out and puts it's feet up for a bit. I often have to force myself to just stop trying to decide and just go for a walk or something just to get things moving again.
Brain freeze is it for sure, which can result in a body freeze. It physically immobilises you because you can't make a decision what to do next and therefore what direction to move your body in. Going for a walk is my go to as well, moving my body in nature especially calms my brain so I can think more clearly. The conga line image makes me chuckle because conga lines are so joyful and that feels like a lighter way to think about the multitude of thoughts in my head :)
I get ‘stuck’ like this often and have recently learned to just do the next small thing. As in, if I need to go collect my kids from school I can’t think about the entirety of that - I have to start with, ‘stand up’!!
There's an irony that so much activity in our heads can mean being physically frozen. I'm with you on the next small thing, just pick one thing to do, it doesn't have to be all of the thing or even the 'right' thing.
I’m literally reading this (and any other post on Substack) whilst thinking about a million other things at the same time. I read a sentence and somewhere in the middle of it I have random thoughts like “remember that time in high school when…” or “I need to get bread and milk”. It’s ridiculous.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel like I’m getting ‘worse’ the older I get. I’m so forgetful at the minute it’s driving me mad! Thank you for sharing these posts 🤍
I hear you! I sometimes marvel at how I can read a page and know I read all the words but get to the end and have no idea what I've just read because at the same time my concentration was split across multiple thoughts. The sign of a good book (or post) is when I can focus fully on it.
Hormones play a role in all of this so your levels changing with having children will have an impact, just as moving into perimenopause does x
Very relatable! One of my associations is the moment when ADHD meds are wearing off and it's been relatively quiet up there all day and then one by one all of the different "channels" come on again. The line between "this is fun and exciting" and "aaaah my own thoughts are overstimulating!!" is a fine one!
This fascinates me, Hanna, as I'm not on meds so haven't had this experience. The sensation of the meds wearing off and the thought taps being turned on again with the stream beginning to flow in your brain again sounds fascinating x
I’m not usually on them either, haven’t found what works for me. It was both so nice and quiet during the day and also I loved the moment my full self came back online. Definitely gives you perspective!
I’m not diagnosed so only presuming this is what’s going on but I recall after the first time I had a hypnotherapy session - I had no previous experience of f having nothing really going on in my head.
It was quite lovely.
I think I that’s why I use it so much as d now meditation - it’s like a drug some days as I feel I could stay there longer to avoid the deluge of thoughts about to arrive once I get back into my day.
Are there no thoughts or is it just one thought / “channel” at a time? Now I’m curious and fascinated!
Part of why I’m asking is because what I can’t always control is when I take medication is the thought/ “channel” I decide to focus on and feeling stuck on a thought you don’t want to have doesn’t feel great!
Great question. I can’t speak to the effect of medication but certainly in meditation practice you can gather your awareness and place it on something/ a focus point/ question.
I agree, meditation can be super helpful to quiet the busy brain. Following a guided meditation where you have one voice to listen to can help keep you on the focus of the meditation more than trying to go it alone. I have a whole online course on meditating for over thinkers which will be available again at some point!
This is exactly how my brain feels, all of the time. Thank you Gabrielle. It's only fairly recently that I discovered that most people's heads aren't overflowing and only now that I'm associating it with ADHD. Definitely going to share with other friends, especially the creative ones, who I know will relate.
If this could be of any use to your friends I'd love you to share it, thank you. I'm so fascinated by the idea that other people don't have any conga lines, no multiple layers of thoughts and noise in their head, what is that like?!
The hyperactivity is mainly on my head but can spill out to manic rushing around externally too when I have a lot on.
I do find it incredible how many tabs can be open at one time in my head (another way I describe it as well as the minions! 😆) all running along in parallel, sometimes from too much input / stimulation and that’s when I have to get out on to nature, it’s the only thing really that calms those thoughts down, or getting focussed on something creative. The music or quote, phrases is especially annoying, like it’s on a back ground loop, and then if my tinnitus pitch changes then wow it’s a lot and pretty exhausting. Thanks for sharing these elements Gabrielle, it’s really important to help more people understand the complexity of ADHD brains! ❤️
Adding tinnitus into the mix – that's another minion/tab/conga line to contend with! I still remember having Jason Donovan singing in my head all throughout my History GCSE exam (that ages me!) and how annoying it was. I'm with you on getting out into nature, I find it really helpful too x
This is one aspect but there's so much to ADHD. I've written more about what it looks like in this post which you might find interesting https://substack.com/@gabrielletreanor/p-149295635 I'm certainly not here to diagnose anyone though! When I was first wondering about it I found it helpful to read and listen to other women's experiences and descriptions to see what resonated. There are free online questionnaires you can do too, additude.org has one I think. And whether you do anything about it is completely up to you, there's no right or wrong way to make use of your awareness and you don't need a diagnosis to prove anything. Happy to chat more if it'd help x
God this could not be more accurate. I describe my brain as a circus - in one corner there are dancing bears, in another the contortionist, up in the roof are the trapeze artists and they’re all swinging and juggling and bending and roaring all at the same time. Makes me feel entirely mad at times.
Ohh honestly I thought it was completely normal to have the internal whirlwind… and as I’m undiagnosed I’m in that weird space of being told I’m ‘just another person saying they’ve a “bit of” ADHD’ … even though this is how most people find out right? The tentative sharing and identifying, curiosity and vulnerability …
It’s quite comical discovering that other people don’t have what’s going on in our brains! I think that diagnosis or not, whether someone thinks you’re ‘a bit ADHD’ or eye rolls or whatever – what matters is what you think, feel and understand about yourself, and what helps you with that x
I couldn’t agree more Gabrielle! I so appreciate the way you write about this topic, you inspired me to share this morning on my substack, I’m intrigued to see if it sparks any conversation… thank you x
Wow, I had no idea I was neurodiverse until I was 60, the annoying brain was shut away in a Pandora’s box not the be opened, and yet, and yet, all too often it’s sneaky wily ways would pop out to shout at me, or more likely embarrass me, or make me cry with frustration. It was a relief to turn the key and openly acknowledge it, whatever it is, occasionally (when I am feeling safe) it even makes me laugh. Photography has saved me, nothing gets in there when I’m taking photos in nature. I have found a life that works(ish) with my dog and my camera, the rest is still work in progress, but I have been taught by my daughter the power of saying no, a revelation! Thank you for letting me engage with a world of other people who may just get it too!
Yay for your daughter showing the powerful way of the no! I love that you’ve found such solace and joy in photography and that you’re able to laugh with your brain sometimes. I hope that as time goes on your love and acceptance of your beautiful brain continues to grow x
Thank you for sharing your experience, Cheri x
This is such a great post to share with friends. Such an excellent description of my brain. When i think if the years i tried to explain to doctors and therapists my drunken monkey mind. Of so you are anxious. Oh you are stressed. No one seemed to be able to comprehend a mind like you have perfectly described here.
I
It can be tricky to articulate the experience and the feeling of it, can't it? Even then I think it's pretty hard for someone to be able to really know what it's like if their brain isn't wired in this way.
This is such an excellent description. I love your conga line analogy. To myself I describe it as brain freeze, when I can sit, often immobile for quite long periods of time. Paralysed by indecision. There are so many thoughts, so many options dancing around in my head that my brain just kind of tunes out and puts it's feet up for a bit. I often have to force myself to just stop trying to decide and just go for a walk or something just to get things moving again.
Brain freeze is it for sure, which can result in a body freeze. It physically immobilises you because you can't make a decision what to do next and therefore what direction to move your body in. Going for a walk is my go to as well, moving my body in nature especially calms my brain so I can think more clearly. The conga line image makes me chuckle because conga lines are so joyful and that feels like a lighter way to think about the multitude of thoughts in my head :)
I get ‘stuck’ like this often and have recently learned to just do the next small thing. As in, if I need to go collect my kids from school I can’t think about the entirety of that - I have to start with, ‘stand up’!!
There's an irony that so much activity in our heads can mean being physically frozen. I'm with you on the next small thing, just pick one thing to do, it doesn't have to be all of the thing or even the 'right' thing.
I’m literally reading this (and any other post on Substack) whilst thinking about a million other things at the same time. I read a sentence and somewhere in the middle of it I have random thoughts like “remember that time in high school when…” or “I need to get bread and milk”. It’s ridiculous.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel like I’m getting ‘worse’ the older I get. I’m so forgetful at the minute it’s driving me mad! Thank you for sharing these posts 🤍
I hear you! I sometimes marvel at how I can read a page and know I read all the words but get to the end and have no idea what I've just read because at the same time my concentration was split across multiple thoughts. The sign of a good book (or post) is when I can focus fully on it.
Hormones play a role in all of this so your levels changing with having children will have an impact, just as moving into perimenopause does x
Very relatable! One of my associations is the moment when ADHD meds are wearing off and it's been relatively quiet up there all day and then one by one all of the different "channels" come on again. The line between "this is fun and exciting" and "aaaah my own thoughts are overstimulating!!" is a fine one!
This fascinates me, Hanna, as I'm not on meds so haven't had this experience. The sensation of the meds wearing off and the thought taps being turned on again with the stream beginning to flow in your brain again sounds fascinating x
I’m not usually on them either, haven’t found what works for me. It was both so nice and quiet during the day and also I loved the moment my full self came back online. Definitely gives you perspective!
What an interesting experience, sounds like you're getting time for peaceful focus AND time as your full self each day.
Fascinating.
I’m not diagnosed so only presuming this is what’s going on but I recall after the first time I had a hypnotherapy session - I had no previous experience of f having nothing really going on in my head.
It was quite lovely.
I think I that’s why I use it so much as d now meditation - it’s like a drug some days as I feel I could stay there longer to avoid the deluge of thoughts about to arrive once I get back into my day.
That sounds so lovely!
Are there no thoughts or is it just one thought / “channel” at a time? Now I’m curious and fascinated!
Part of why I’m asking is because what I can’t always control is when I take medication is the thought/ “channel” I decide to focus on and feeling stuck on a thought you don’t want to have doesn’t feel great!
Great question. I can’t speak to the effect of medication but certainly in meditation practice you can gather your awareness and place it on something/ a focus point/ question.
So it could help.
Happy to chat if it’s helpful.
I agree, meditation can be super helpful to quiet the busy brain. Following a guided meditation where you have one voice to listen to can help keep you on the focus of the meditation more than trying to go it alone. I have a whole online course on meditating for over thinkers which will be available again at some point!
I'm obviously not a woman, but this is so on the nose I had to comment. Wonderful writing, you've summed ADHD up perfectly!
I appreciate your comment, Lewis, there's a lot going on in our heads!
This is exactly how my brain feels, all of the time. Thank you Gabrielle. It's only fairly recently that I discovered that most people's heads aren't overflowing and only now that I'm associating it with ADHD. Definitely going to share with other friends, especially the creative ones, who I know will relate.
If this could be of any use to your friends I'd love you to share it, thank you. I'm so fascinated by the idea that other people don't have any conga lines, no multiple layers of thoughts and noise in their head, what is that like?!
The hyperactivity is mainly on my head but can spill out to manic rushing around externally too when I have a lot on.
I do find it incredible how many tabs can be open at one time in my head (another way I describe it as well as the minions! 😆) all running along in parallel, sometimes from too much input / stimulation and that’s when I have to get out on to nature, it’s the only thing really that calms those thoughts down, or getting focussed on something creative. The music or quote, phrases is especially annoying, like it’s on a back ground loop, and then if my tinnitus pitch changes then wow it’s a lot and pretty exhausting. Thanks for sharing these elements Gabrielle, it’s really important to help more people understand the complexity of ADHD brains! ❤️
Adding tinnitus into the mix – that's another minion/tab/conga line to contend with! I still remember having Jason Donovan singing in my head all throughout my History GCSE exam (that ages me!) and how annoying it was. I'm with you on getting out into nature, I find it really helpful too x
Is this is ADHD then I have it. No question.
Question is then do I do anything about it other then carry on living with all the ways I’ve learnt to manage it 🤷♀️
If this is - that should say 😆
This is one aspect but there's so much to ADHD. I've written more about what it looks like in this post which you might find interesting https://substack.com/@gabrielletreanor/p-149295635 I'm certainly not here to diagnose anyone though! When I was first wondering about it I found it helpful to read and listen to other women's experiences and descriptions to see what resonated. There are free online questionnaires you can do too, additude.org has one I think. And whether you do anything about it is completely up to you, there's no right or wrong way to make use of your awareness and you don't need a diagnosis to prove anything. Happy to chat more if it'd help x
Thank you. 🙏🏻
God this could not be more accurate. I describe my brain as a circus - in one corner there are dancing bears, in another the contortionist, up in the roof are the trapeze artists and they’re all swinging and juggling and bending and roaring all at the same time. Makes me feel entirely mad at times.
Another brilliant analogy, thanks, Nicola!
Brilliant description and analysis of what goes on in the mind of an ADHD person. I often find myself overwhelmed by all the options!
So, so many options…
Ohh honestly I thought it was completely normal to have the internal whirlwind… and as I’m undiagnosed I’m in that weird space of being told I’m ‘just another person saying they’ve a “bit of” ADHD’ … even though this is how most people find out right? The tentative sharing and identifying, curiosity and vulnerability …
It’s quite comical discovering that other people don’t have what’s going on in our brains! I think that diagnosis or not, whether someone thinks you’re ‘a bit ADHD’ or eye rolls or whatever – what matters is what you think, feel and understand about yourself, and what helps you with that x
I couldn’t agree more Gabrielle! I so appreciate the way you write about this topic, you inspired me to share this morning on my substack, I’m intrigued to see if it sparks any conversation… thank you x
Oh my word!!! I feel like i finally fun my person. Someone who gets me!! This is something I have never been able to articulate.
And to think there are people walking around whose brains aren’t like this…?! :)
Wow, I had no idea I was neurodiverse until I was 60, the annoying brain was shut away in a Pandora’s box not the be opened, and yet, and yet, all too often it’s sneaky wily ways would pop out to shout at me, or more likely embarrass me, or make me cry with frustration. It was a relief to turn the key and openly acknowledge it, whatever it is, occasionally (when I am feeling safe) it even makes me laugh. Photography has saved me, nothing gets in there when I’m taking photos in nature. I have found a life that works(ish) with my dog and my camera, the rest is still work in progress, but I have been taught by my daughter the power of saying no, a revelation! Thank you for letting me engage with a world of other people who may just get it too!
Yay for your daughter showing the powerful way of the no! I love that you’ve found such solace and joy in photography and that you’re able to laugh with your brain sometimes. I hope that as time goes on your love and acceptance of your beautiful brain continues to grow x